I'm done with you

It has been awhile since I've posted, and much has happened since I last updated my diary.

Basically, Catullus' obsession with me has turned unhealthy.

Even though he clearly states
 that he's over me in his Catullus 8,

"Vale puella. Iam Catullus obdurat"

"Goodbye girl. Catullus is already strong."

I know that he truly isn't. If he was over me, he wouldn't even bother writing about me!

For heaven's sake, I just want my life to return back to normal.

I love my husband, NOT Catullus!

I'm fed up with these petty remarks he continues to make.

"Quis nunc te adibit? Cui videberis bella?
Quem nunc amabis? Cuius esse diceris?
Quem basiabis? Cui labella mordebis?

Who is he to ask who I will go to, who will think I'm pretty, who I will now love,

who I will belong to, who I will kiss, and whose lips I will nibble?!

These questions are not only outlandish, but simply child-like.

 As I've already stated, I have a husband! A kind, sweet husband
who appreciates me and loves me so dearly.

Catullus, if you happen to be reading this (which I'm sure you are), please leave me alone!

I've had enough with your immaturity and selfishness, please just let me be.

Hopefully this is the last post I will have to make regarding you. Goodbye Catullus.

I've been thinking

So after taking a break from Catullus and having some time to gather my thoughts,  I asked him how many kisses it would take to satisfy his needs. He then replied with absolutely outlandish juxtapositions in his Catullus 7, like the silphium producing Cyrene plant, and the number of Libyan sand!

"Quam magnus numerus Libyssae harenae 

lasarpiciferis iacet Cyrenis"

Basically, Catullus is obsessed with me! I've never had any man confess his love to me in this way,
as he mentions the amount of stars that see the secret loves affairs of men when the night is silent.

 "Aut quam sidera multa cum tacet nox,

furtivos hominum vident amores."

Quite honestly, I'm taken back by his romanticism, and just a little bit shocked. 

Catullus is no longer the rational man I originally bonded with, and he has now transformed into an illogical maniac!

At this point, I just pray this creep leaves me alone... 

-Lesbia

Catullus: More than just a friend?

It's been weeks now, maybe even months, and Catullus is still on my mind. 

I can't pinpoint exactly what these feelings are. Are they of true love or mere lust? Either way, our connection is forbidden. Despite how much Catullus wants to reveal our relationship, we both know it must be kept a secret, for I have a husband! I am a married woman!

Catullus 5
"Vivamus, mea Lesbia, atque amemus,
 rumoresque senum severiorum
omnes unius aestimemus assis!"
"Let us, my Lesbia, live and love,
and let us value all of the rumors of the old rather serious men
and let us value one penny".

I cannot carry on with this childish relationship. Ah, but at the same time, I feel so passionately for Catullus, at least I think I do. I really just don't know what these emotions are! At some points in a day I'm so grateful for our relationship and feel passionately for him, yet at other points, I am overwhelmed with guilt.

Catullus 5
"Da mi basia mille, deinde centum, dein mille altera,
dein secunda centum, deinde usque altera mille, deinde centum"
"Give me a thousand kisses, then a hundred, then another thousand, then a second hundred, then continuously another thousand, then another hundred".

Either way, these poems that Catullus has written just show how much he cares for me.
I just hope he doesn't get too attached...

Bye for now.
-Lesbia